absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
