party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
