Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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