she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
