Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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