That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
did you just send me my own nude
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
