do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
