Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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