p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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