Don't you send me to vm
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
