how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
