Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
