If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
