Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
