So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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