You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
