they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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