I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
