I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
