Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
