Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
honey bunches of taint.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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