She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
