Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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