I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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