look no pants
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
