Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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