You just made me feel so damn special
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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