My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
