sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
