Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
