dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
