oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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