new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
