so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
