I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
