Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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