is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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