Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
