Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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