I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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