he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
