i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
