I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
