So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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