He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
