hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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