Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
