u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
