am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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