We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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