Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
